week 17..struggle and the blues

Did the April workout as posted on the website and i have to say it was the toughest workout to date..not because it is tough by nature to challenge me, but because i've been a wreck for the last week.

Hubby had to leave 4 days before Easter to return to duty in Iraq. My mom got sick so i couldn't go up there to spend Easter with them so even though i did get to go over to a friend's house, Easter to me felt empty.

I mis him and can smell him in bed and i randomly cry throughout the day. A love song came on during my workout and i was crying doing push-ups. I'm just empty. I had a complete household for 15 beautiful days and i'm back to an incomplete home.

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I thought this wouldn't be so hard for me to go back to the existence i was working with work school and baby. It's plenty hard and i'm not doing well with this. Trying to go out with friends and look forward to the new movies coming out and go see them so i can get relife from being mom for an hour or two but I want my daughter to be with daddy. I want to come home to a husband who smells b/c he's been working out or doing house repairs. I want to have Sunday breakfast with my hubby sitting across from me and get huranged for kissing in the restaurant.

Just have to keep pushing i guess. It will get better ...right??

Week 15 end and on to Week 16

Well week 15 was challenging and I have to say it was harder because i was traveling and eating choices were not the best. Now that I am home i have bought cantaloupe and salmon and salad and am cleaning out my system.

Still looking for a new medicine ball or toning ball rather i like the Danskin one i have it's 4lbs but i need more weight. The 6lbs by Danskin is Pretty green with swirls.

I already have the danskin Stability ball in Pink with swirls and i love it. The 8lbs ball is blue and it's nice as well.

I'm prepping for week 16. This will be a hard week for me because hubby will be leaving for Iraq on Thursday. I may not see him until almost January the earliest October.

He's been home on R&R Since the 24th and time has just flown by. Today at Church was hard

because it was our last formal gathering to pray as a family. I will try to focus and keep my wits about me, but i find myself being very sad and selfish. It is s o nice having a two parent home and having him home to fix things and things done that i can't get to without him here.

Houston Zoo

At Church

At the Duck Pond

At the San Antonio Children's Museum

What I know is going to be the most difficult is the transition for Victoria. She is so happy with Da-Da being home. Those two are like Peas in a Pod. She will miss him more and I know this will just be hell for her for the next few days when she realizes that Da-da isn't coming back for a long time. There has to be a better way to deal.

So my goals for this week:

Be strong

workout

eat well

comfort family

cry if i need to

comfort Victoria

cherish rest of this week

pray

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